Roeliff - Painting Childhood Feelings - Losing Control

I got a hint several weeks ago that I should depth journal about the Roeliff, the stream that flowed past most of my childhood.  I could write at length about that dialogue, and the twilight images that came out of it - but that's another post.

Here I am revealing how this painting is unfolding.  I am "doing it all wrong" and that's perfect.  I started in an unconventional way, I've lost control of this piece, the composition, the direction, the emotions I was trying to invoke.  It feels a bit like being thrown out the window and the car careening on without me.  No broken bones... I rolled end over end a few times, dusted myself off and walked away to come back later.  I was grinning.

I've waited a few days (these photos were all taken last Sunday, July 20); I worked a bit more tonight.  I'll show later stages in another post, but for now I'm posting Sunday's photos and waiting for the paint to dry before I try a few more things tonight.  Click any of the images below for a closer look.

Here (above) is the drawing, with taped borders, ready for painting.  Normally I would resolve more during the drawing, but I deliberately left plenty of decisions for the brushwork - lots of room to lose control.

Here are the first few objects emphasized with bright color.  These are almost like icons or totems for me in my stream memories, and I want the painting to be sparked by them.  More about what's what in a later post.  I would love to hear your guesses and impressions.

This is where the water starts, and the sycamore trees, the house where I grew up...

I'm starting to lose control here...  can you feel/see it?

And here is where I seriously went off the road.  This doesn't work for me at all, and I could not even see where order could start to spread from one area to others.  I have no idea what composition to assert here, or what to do next.  It made me a bit giddy, and that was great.

I have moved beyond this a bit, tonight, and it looked less like nonsense to me when I pulled it out this evening, but it's still totally over the curb and into the weeds, to me.  I wonder how it will look Friday.

Tomorrow several family members open in Seussical, so I probably won't paint.  I'll be deep into someone else's art and enjoying the sets designed by my oldest.

(Painting above is 18 x 24 inches on Arches hot press, stretched on plywood to keep it from puckering during the many times it will be wet and dry over the next few weeks.)