Sun and Moon 2

The sun and moon theme continued in some of my doodles/sketches.  These are not as automatic as the first Sun and Moon drawing, but I didn't start with anything premeditated.  I over-controlled both of these, and the results are not what I was after.  Often I can't let go.  I'm determined to show more than just the successes on this blog...  What do you think?  The first one (below) feels like a cartoon landscape to me - wave, tree, mountains, ploughed land, clouds, luna moth, sun and moon.  It feels like a formula, or a picture of a word-problem.  "If the sea were the height of the trees, how fast would the luna moth have to fly to reach the moon before the sun set?"  Or maybe it's the four elements in the four quadrants.

The second of these (below) gave me the feeling that the sunlight is somehow locked up and off limits, while the moonlight and night are more accessible, but to me less desirable, less luminous, and I'll have to stoop or crawl through that half door.  Do I take what's easier, or struggle for what seems impossible?  And this captures some of my frequent feeling (and dream theme) of being compelled into a smaller and smaller space, where a decision will be required from too many poorly understood options.

In contrast, when I painted today (I photographed at multiple stages - that will be a later post) I was quite loose and totally lost control of the surface and the composition.  It's the piece I'm doing about my childhood along the Roeliff, and I'm excited that I lost control.  Now I have a harder situation on my hands, and I have to think differently.  Instead of painting what I already knew, I'm going to end up somewhere unexpected.  I deliberately put precious things in the painting, which I probably can't keep, and that will be a struggle, as well.  I will have to decide what I really want - something I'm not good at.

Rereading this, I'm revealing more of myself than usual...