Napkin Lists

I end up writing on whatever I have with me. I also draw on napkins to explain things to people at the table... ask my friends and family.

This shows the back of my life drawing ticket. I ended up with six or seven painting ideas on it (that walk mentioned in this previous post). Now that I've posted the one I didn't want to hint at before it was done (the moon and birds) I can show this. This is the earliest germ of paintings I've ever shared here on-line - I'm curious to see what happens, if anything.

>>>> Appendix de Grenouille <<<<

Etienne should be painting now. But it is hot, and he and his cheri played in the dirt of the gardens for several hours this morning, and he is tired and feeling relaxed and happy. This leads to a healthful langour. This is a time when you should let the flies come to you, instead of hopping about trying to go to them.

His cheri, his companion in the garden and the one who wisely keeps him engaged there, is a lady of great sensitivity and wisdom, and she feels things deeply. The passing of the pansies (oui, I am among them in this illustration) will be too quick this year, because of the sudden onset of the heat, and she mourns this. It is one petit example of the passion and power of her soul, and part of what makes her an eternal fascination to Etienne. He is prone to still his heart and feel nothing, because it is easier, makes less trouble... but this makes him feel dead. And so the heart of his cheri is his most precious possession, and he is happier when she holds his, because she knows better what to do with it. To him, hers seems to move like a bird of paradise, with deeply colored plumage and long graceful sweeps of feathers and plumes, everything made real and vital and felt fully. She does not let go of things in fear or to keep life neat and simple. He does. Or he would, but she is there to hang on, and he cannot let go either if he wants to stay beside her... and there is nothing he wants more, so his courage is pressed into action, and he must feel what he must feel. This is difficult for him, but he much prefers it and knows he would not do it alone.

She makes him tres rich - while Etienne alone would be impoverished by his fears of life, of feelings, of loss, of change, of risk.

Moi, of course, I do not need this sort of help. I feel everything as it comes, preserve it for several slow amphibian beats, and then it rolls off my rounded back. My heart is very small, but it works well, merci. I never installed an off switch like Etienne says he has on his. So I am independent and resolute without a lady frog to help. Etienne says I do not know what I am missing, but, voila, my blood is cold while his is hot. It cannot be the same for grenouilles. And while I also mourn the passing of the pansies, it is mostly because they attract the most delicious, tres petit bees.