Men and Pain

Wasabi, tattoos, twist-off bottle caps, shaving a two day beard, companionable punches when you see an old friend, powerful handshakes...

All these things hurt. I take great pleasure in these things (except the tattoos, haven't done that one yet, hmm), and my oldest understands it, too. There is a certain confirmation of life, manhood, strength, power in the experience of these things. They all make you say, "Ahh!" inside (and wasabi makes you need to blow your nose - something else I do hard enough to nearly hurt, and it feels good that way).

This is probably all wired down deep inside somewhere - a male animal thing. My daughter and my wife just shake their heads. My youngest, an eight year old boy, will understand in time, and I think he already gets it. It's like play-fighting with friends. It hurts and it gets the blood roaring in your ears. You know you are ferociously alive. It's not that we need comfirmation, but we like to turn up the volume and really hear it.

And as I've said elsewhere, I believe the handshake is what remains of men knocking each other down on meeting, to get a feel for each other. Other male mammals still knock each other down - we've advanced to squeezing each other's knuckles hard enough to hurt pleasantly, maybe slapping a few backs, and then getting on with other things. I look forward to this, I anticipate it when I walk towards a friend or someone I'm meeting. I make it a point to offer my hand and give a good grip...

(For the companion piece to the link above - here is "In the Company of Women.")

(And actually this pain thing isn't peculiar to men - see dear Moomin Light's post on wading in 40 degree temperatures. She always seems even more alive than usual with her feet bright red and painfully numb in some picturesque body of water. Part of it is the sisu of it (look it up - it became a regular part of my life when I married a Finn) and part of it is the fact that most people might find it crazy...)