I decided there was little to be gained in keeping this as-is.
And actually after not looking at it for several days, there were some definite small improvements that stood out. They required acrylics, however - or some other opaque paint.
First, the orange object toward the bottom is gone. Then I heightened and changed the sweep of the rings or motion lines in the lower left. I also changed several other shapes, to improve the flow of the piece. And I painted over some blotchy areas on the sycamore trees which were not pleasing and doing nothing for the composition. A little white highlight for the fish in the lower right... Probably the largest change is under the sun, where I really didn't like the painting style (too calculated) or the shape. Once again, some of these changes removed drama, but it's closer to the childhood memories and feelings I'm trying to reach.
There will be more - and maybe more drastic steps.
Below is how it looked prior to these most recent adjustments, so you can compare. Overall color temperature is just a trick of the lighting when I took the photos. Click on the images to enlarge. Feel free to tell me what you think - particularly if you see something you don't like, or have thoughts on what you would do if you had the brushes* in your hand...
* Talk nicely to those brushes. This piece so far has been painted by Abner, Louise, and Frondine (the usual suspects when I'm doing watercolor). More about the named brushes at the end of this post. And back in 2009 when I named them, I posted this: "I am thinking of naming my paint brushes - at least the three I use most often. Is that weird? Paul Klee named his engraving tools... And he seemed pretty sane."
I've read a lot more about Paul Klee since then...