Sunday, February 15, 2009

Abstract Landscape

Weeks ago I added some neon orange to this painting (Prismacolors) and then it sat untouched. Yesterday, dealing with stress from work and some disturbing news about my Dad's cancer (spreading again) I got this out and lost myself in the sky. The photo does a terrible job of showing how neon and bright the traces of orange and pink are (running along the horizon line). The colors are clean, bright, pure, and capture some of the joy I feel in sunsets and the hot colors that I want to climb up and follow. I've remarked before that that kind of light in the sky is how I picture heaven.

This is all watercolor except for the neon pencil work.

And after I posted this, while going to link it at Creative Every Day, and while reading Leah's post about muse/inspiration/synchronicity, I looked over at the painting and it all fell together and I wept.

I'm not ready to lose my Dad (how can I ever be ready) - but when I eventually do, I will seek him in that light. It's where I feel we're all going, and he may be heading over that horizon sooner than I want. That's what I blindly painted yesterday and this morning. My wish, my dread, my hope, my fear.

Orange - the color of joy. Purple - the color of grief.

13 comments:

giggles said...

Oh Steve.... I am so sorry to hear your news.... But this painting is BEAUTIFUL, and I expect will hold meaning for you forever...

Thoughts and prayers.

Pagan Sphinx said...

I want to give you a big hug and that is all. I'm way too moved to say much more of anything. I lost my father, way, way before he and I were both ready, only less than four years ago. That is one reason why it's hard for me to say anything more, without chocking back a sob. But also because I care about you and how you are feeling. I understand it, though I had no preparation - my dad only lived about 12 hours and he was in Portugal so I could not get to him to see his eyes one more time. I was able to say that, at least.

I am thinking of you a lot today.

I am trying to link to you, so I'd better go collect that link now.

In love and friendship,
Gina

linda said...

oh steve, I am so sorry to hear this news of your father...and somehow this painting seems to say it all, about what lies beyond-out there somewhere in a place we will never know until we get there...I hate to think of the pain you must be feeling and wish for you only peace and love in this time of grief and suffering...

this is a lovely painting and yes, it is all that you said ... it feels like heaven.

Leah said...

just wanted to send some hugs and love your way.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Such sad news about your Dad and such lovely colors and splashes to celebrate his life and your love!

Utah Savage said...

Steve I'm terribly sorry about your father.

The painting is lovely. I love mixed media work.

You have just commented at my place and I am here to tell you that "Cal" did indeed write that piece "Cal Speaks." This fiction is lived in real time and is as I said. Cal speaks for himself and I have another male friend who did not believe that a man had written that. I have only given Cal a place to post what he wanted to say in his own defense. I am amazed at the lack of self knowledge and that is part of the lack of chemistry between Cal and me face to face. I was operating on the memory of a girl. Not paying proper attention to the small things that should have been signals that Cal was not the guy for me. But imagination can take you far afield. I apologize again for misleading you. But as you know my life is fodder for my fiction. Cal has his own blog and has posted his story there. If you want to check it out he is the blogger known as Amos who visits me with one liners.

Steve Emery said...

Giggles - Thanks! I think it will.

Gina - How awful for you and your father. No matter what happens in our family, we have had a lengthy period aware that the time is brief and precious.

Linda - The painting helped with the pain, and thanks for the compliment about it, and your caring.

Leah - Thanks! I've needed them this weekend.

Mary Stebbins Taitt - Thanks very much!

Utah Savage - Thank you. Head spinning a bit, I returned comment at your blog...

Lisa said...

I hope that being able to paint your emotions is helping. The realities of life can be so difficult. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Genie Sea said...

I understand how you feel my friend. I lost both my parents last year, and no matter how inevitable it is, it's always devastating. I send you my thoughts of strength.

The clouds are breathtakingly furious, and furiously breathtaking.

Regina said...

Steve, it looks like you've got an idea place to deal with all the emotions. I'm continuing in prayer for your family.
Your ability to verbally communicate how the visual impacts you impresses me so much. I LOVED this sentence of your post, esp. the last part: "The colors are clean, bright, pure, and capture some of the joy I feel in sunsets and the hot colors that I want to climb up and follow." I KNOW exactly how you feel, but I don't think I could have ever found those words.

Steve Emery said...

Lisa - Thanks! - and it does help to paint it.

Genie - Thanks! And the thoughts of strength help.

Regina - Thank you very much for the prayers and the words about my words.

susan said...

I'm sorry to read about your Father's ill health. You're correct that there's no time that could be considered the right time to lose such an essential love. Your painting is very beautiful as is.

corryna said...

Steve what a terrible news about your dad. I can read through the lines that you have a strong bond with him. Hold on to that! Try to enjoy the time now it is here.

Your painting is beautiful!