I am trying to get into the garden. I have been all around the west walls on the outside, late afternoon light shining over my shoulder and casting my shadow on the stone. I can't find a way in. I have drawn and totally erased the same 19 x 19 inch square three times in the last two days. I'm on drawing four, and I'm not sure it's going anywhere, either. I've had two paintings I could have done, but they're still outside the garden. And I'm going to get in there. It may take some time, but I know my way all around the edges of this place, and I know it's where I need to go next.
I know what kinds of rules I will shed in the passage, but I still don't know how to get what I want on that page. Lot's of other things happen, but not what I'm really after. I could randomly fill up the page with stuff, but that's not what I crave to put there. I'm holding out for the big thing, the garden, my internal Eden, my Chocolate Room*.
Meanwhile, though, the image I had layered with so much color (to the left) finally yielded part of its content. I discovered this man, looking into the light, hand up as if to knock or to shield his eyes from the brightness. The hand (fist) in the upper left was the giveaway - maybe you can see it in this photo? After several weeks of gazing into this, turning it every way, it was wonderful to get a hint and then to watch it progress. I couldn't understand why he was wearing a suit, though.
I showed several pieces to Dearest today - I was framing Glee 1 and Coming Home to hang at work (they looked great all dressed up), and I showed her the final version of Flight which was almost exactly like the last version I showed over a week ago.
Then, on an impulse, I ran to get this emerging watercolor to show her. She liked it right away and said the man wasn't knocking... "He's more engaged than that." Then after a pause, waiting to see if I got it on my own (nope) she said, "He's conducting."
Wow - so he is. That explains the suit, and, as she added, it also explains the lighting.
So now I wonder what will emerge in the foreground.
This is my first attempt to work with this much pigment and color, chasing a little of Nolde's method. The reality is richer than the photo looks - but also less blue. His jacket is more understated in the original, but that also means the light looks warmer and brighter in the original, as well.
Dearest and I also looked at one of my older pieces (Cliffs and Squalls photo taken behind glass, so you'll have to mentally edit out that white spot in the center!), done back when I was in the gallery, and compared it with the two I was framing today. It looked so light and tentative that it felt unfinished. It's a nice piece, and I like many things about it, but I wish I'd USED MORE PAINT.
This review of pieces, though brief, was good for me, showing a lot of the journey I've taken to this spot outside the garden wall. And it was priceless to get Dearest's insight into The Conductor.
* from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - the version from the 70's, with Gene Wilder.